New Transformers Movie: This is Not a Drill

Heh. I just realized that "this is not a drill" could be a sleazy Transformer pickup line, if Michael Bay had ever decided to make some of them sexy. Instead he went with offensively, stereotypically ghetto.

I jotted down some thoughts during this thing. I would do a proper review, but I am strapped for time and am in no hurry to relive it anyway. So I thought I would just share my notes.

• Opens w/ dialog. Who are they kidding?
• Hasbro owns GMC?
• Oh god no.
• Dog fucking != funny.
• Deceptichuckies!
• Bay has never known love. Or black people.
• THIS! IS! HASBRO!
• America > World
• SHIA DID NOT GO TO HARVARD
• BayU girls are sluts
• Volvo = Evil robots
• WTF? Are we on Saturn?
• Astronomy class = hotty central
• This audience is easily amused
• Oh good. Fighting.
• Metal punching metal in slo-mo. Rapture.
• I think one of them died. Bad?
• "Energon"? Are they shitting me?
• MIME BOT!
• That's real Turturro ass.
• I am so lost.
• Is it always sunny everywhere at once?
• Thank god for Unhelpful Expositioning Gandalf bot.
• Optimus Prime = Tinker Bell
• MORE RUNNING! YAY!
• Catch flies w/ honey, Megatron.
• Megan = lousy human shield. Need Kevlar, not silicone.
• Megan has Resurrection Boobs.
• It's Optimus Prime the White!
• I wish I was still lost.
• Optimus Prime did NOT just say "let's roll."
• I am deeply offended/gassy.
  
• The audience envies the dead.

I know, sort of silly review. But not as silly as a smack-talking truck dying for our sins.