Thursday, February 12, 2009

They Slimed Me

I had my ultrasound!

It was disgusting. It's basically a Wii controller covered with a sex-aid lubricant, and smeared all over whatever you're having scanned. In my case, it was my neck, which is harmless enough. But I kept thinking "if I had testicular or prostate cancer, would I have the same attractive lab tech?" I hope I never find out. But if I do, stay tuned to this blog!

Nothing really to report. I saw my ultrasounds and they look the same as every other ultrasound I've ever seen, like someone vomited a bunch of Rorschach tests. The doctor (Doctor Doh -- and I am not making that up) couldn't tell me much on just a cursory glance, but he's allegedly writing up a report right now. He said there were a couple of suspicious places, and I am going to write to President Obama to see if he can strike the word "suspicious" from the medical vocabulary.

I hope to pick up a copy of the D'oh! report this afternoon. I'll post a summary tonight or tomorrow.

But I have scheduled my appointment with the surgeon. I am meeting him the afternoon of 2/17, and if all goes well (i.e., we feel that he's not a jerk or an idiot) we will schedule the surgery itself then as well. They tell me he can normally work in surgery like this within a few days, so by the end of next week we might be in business.

Also: I have been in jury duty all this week. Justice was served on the case this morning, and I can finally talk about it. Stay tuned for that too.


BubbaRich said...

My urologist uses the same lube, for some more intimate work. I think I'm dating her, now.

The Man Version said...

Don't blame you. Ask her if she can get it on eBay.

I have it on good authority that it's some sort of electrolyte gel, not a sex cream. But that same authority is known to hang out at Insurrection, so both answers might be true.