Friday, March 20, 2009

A view from the trenches

Scene: Hospital room, just after waking up from surgery

Hello, Christian.
"Wha?"
This is your throat. I know you were expecting to hear from your neck incision. But I had a breathing tube shoved down me for two hours, so you're going to pay.
"Uh oh."
First, I'm going to fill up with saliva. You must swallow now.
"Ow!"
Excellent. Now sneeze.
"AAAAAARGH!"
Things are coming along nicely. Why don't we share a coughing fit? Phlegm is such a hassle, don't you agree?
"AAIIIEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeee..."
Are you ready? I have a long evening planned.
"Nurse? Ice chips please."
What are you doing?

[Several hours later]

"Must be pretty numb down there. That's about 8 pounds of ice."
You cannot win!
"Ever seen someone gargle with Chloraseptic? I wonder what that's like."
NO!
"Batten down the hatches! Lortab depth charges incoming!"
NOOOOOOoooooooooo....
"That's better. Time for a nap."

Hello, Christian. This is your neck incision. Had a nice day?
"Uh oh..."

2 comments:

Doctor Atlantis said...

Dude! I had no idea you were even having an issue. [sigh] I'm so out of touch.

Glad you woke up from surgery! Yay science!

Take care - see you at Dragon*Con, if not some Skep/Pub... should the fates allow me to make it to that someday...

First attempt to post this didn't work because I had GT/LT around sigh and was told that SIGH is not an allowed HTML TAG. LOL.

Jen said...

I'm late on this, but I'm so glad everything went well and you're seem to be recovering splendidly! Take are of yourself. :)