It wasn't much. Basically a stack of papers I had to sign wherein I surrendered my right to hold them accountable if something goes wrong and they accidentally cut my head off and mount it on a Big Mouth Billy Bass.
But there was also the medical history. Medicalwise, I've lived a fairly dull life. Tonsils out, wisdom teeth surgically removed, braces. The highlight of my medical trauma history has been a bike wreck on my 9th birthday that knocked out a front tooth and eventually led to a Dental Appliance.
One weird moment, though. The one time I got a stern look was when they asked me if I'm on any medication. I'm not, really, but I did take an Advil last night because I had slept funny and had a tender shoulder muscle. Their reaction was OMG PLEASE STOP TAKING ADVIL!
Okay, it wasn't that bad. But they pursed their lips and went into "Speaking to a Child or Other Non-Medical Idiot" mode: "We would appreciate it if you did not take any more Advil before the surgery, or for awhile after. Also do not take aspirin. You may take Tylenol." When I asked why, I got "Advil and aspirin can cause bleeding, which might complicate things during surgery."
I did not know that. I had heard that aspirin is good for heart attack prevention, and I like Advil because it kicks a headache's ass. I didn't know either of them worked as a blood thinner. I think from now on, when I have pain, I'll just scream into a ball gag. (That will probably mess up my Dental Appliance or give me Lyme disease or something. You cannot win.)
Anyway, everyone at the hospital was very nice except for the person who took my blood. ("Give to me left arm now!") Fortunately, the blood thing went quick, because of the Advil.
On the way out, they gave me information about doing a Living Will. It's a good idea, and I've been meaning to do it, but their timing could be a lot better.
Okay, enough surgery stuff. I am going to post crucial info about the cruise later. Be ready!
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4 comments:
Advil and aspirin are non steroidal anti-inflammatories (NSAIDs)that block pain and inflammation by blocking prostaglandins in your body. They also do stuff like block key parts of platelet function. Platelets form the bandaids that initially help stop bleeding. There are NSAIDs that don't inhibit platelet function, but in people at least they increase your risk of stroke and heart disease. No fun during surgery.
I'm not a huge fan of tylenol either--it can cause liver issues in some people, but it also causes more issues in dogs and cats so I am probably biased against it. I'd ask for some nice old opiates.
Hope all your tests come back fine and your procedure goes well!
Steggy, that is the most satisfyingly medical-sounding thing I've ever heard from a veterinarian :) You don't make house calls, do you?
I like your opiates idea. When I had my wisdom teeth cut out, they put me on some truly wondrous stuff. I must remember to write up my experience with codeine addiction.
This is reminding me of one of my favorite pictures of all time.
"Although prostaglandins are just lipids, I enjoy portraying them as rabid deer..."
http://www.cockeyed.com/science/vioxx/drooling_prostaglandins.gif
I am far from a veternarian, so I'll just forward you to the whole Science Club Episode for an entirely fun-filled description of the Vioxx mechanism:
http://www.cockeyed.com/science/vioxx/vioxx.html
Kick cancer's ass tomorrow!
that that you're ready for the operation practice, I hope you're well aware that everything goes as planned it.
A few days ago I engaged in an operation right now I'm only kamagra to deal with it
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