Monday, April 27, 2009

Well, that was fun

Thanks for indulging me with my videos, all! A face for radio and a voice for the written word. I am the new Isaac Asimov :)

For those of you interested in the actual events, there really wasn't any. Thursday morning, I dropped my dogs off at Paws Playhouse to live in a radiation-free environment for a few days. Maria had packed a bag and was checking into a hotel until Sunday. Then I went to the hospital.

The weirdest thing that happened at the hospital was I got a call right before I went in telling me I got a job at AT&T. I was all "Great! Listen, I can't talk right now because I have to go irradiate myself." But that was cool, since I knew one of the people I had interviewed with, and her husband had successfully fought off leukemia. So she wasn't going to be scared off by this.

When I made it through the protective bureaucratic shielding and made it to radiology, I was terribly disappointed. I was just sitting in a big open space that also housed the MRI machine. Got a bunch of FAQ-type info sheets, and then a nurse just walks in with a lead container. I was expecting a lead-lined bunker and a bunch of shambling lead aprons, but no. Inside was a little glass vial, when the nurse told me to remove and then tip both tablets into my mouth and swallow. A little water, and I'm done.

I was escorted out to make sure I left. Had to take the stairs in case the elevator got stuck and someone was trapped with me. And they didn't want me wandering into the place where they keep newborns and, I don't know, rubbing myself down with babies while I'm radioactive. I can still do it when I'm not "hot."

From that point on, it was an experiment in punctuated equilibrium. The four spurts of activity are evidenced in the four previous videos, and the rest is a haze of reading, DVDs, and PlayStation. (Mad love to my friends Carrie & Tim Iwan and Becky & Dale Selby for having excellent timing with the late birthday presents, and to my sister Laura for the surprise Chevy Chase DVD that helped keep perspective. Not that that perspective has been obvious the last few days.)

I'm finishing up the last of the double-washing of the clothes and sheets and all. Maria came back Sunday night and I've retrieved the dogs.

So for the moment, I'm done with treatment. I've started taking the synthetic hormone pills. I have a full-body scan on May 4 to see if there are any lingering concerns. But unless something we don't know about now turns up, I'm pretty well uncancered. I hope. I'm confident enough to think of myself as a survivor now instead of a patient.

Speaking of which, any of you in the Atlanta area, please join us on May 8 for Relay for Life. I know it's opening night for the new Star Trek movie, but life is sacrifice. Skip opening night for this, and we'll all find a time to go later in the weekend.

If you're not in Atlanta, check that link and see what's happening in your area.



Artful Dodger said...

Wait! So the videos didn't depict actual events? Does this mean that that car didn't really burst into flames? clowns were destroyed? ...there really is a masturbating merit badge?

I just don't know what to believe anymore!

The Man Version said...

Dude, I swear, if you blow my alibi, I am going to melt you down and turn you into soap... er... that is, write something scathing about you!

Yes. That is what I meant. I am not willing or able to do something evil like burn things with my mind.

Triple Eagle Scout

Artful Dodger said...

Won't it be funny when they finally admit that you were in the placebo group?

The Man Version said...


Placebos might be more powerful than anyone imagined.

They should do a Spider-Man story where he's stuck to the side of the Empire State Building, about 70 floors up, reading the paper. In there, he notices a blurb that makes him realize the spider that bit him was mislabeled and wasn't radioactive at all, but instead had been injected with e.coli or something.

He does one of those quick double-takes out towards the reader and then EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..........


Well I'd buy one.

Artful Dodger said...

It would make for a short movie. Perhaps made entirely from Heath Ledger outtakes.